Obstetric and Gynaecology (O&G) posting

This post will be in English everyone and a long post to read, but trust me it is so worth reading for those who interested in medicine. Such a long time I didn't write in English and all my previous posts are in Malay.  So this post will reveal more about O&G and myself as a student. Just to let you know there are 3 lecturers to guide us in hospital and during classes. They are Dato K, Dr H, Dr B. Currently this is my 4th major posting.

Before going any deeper, there is real difference between obstetric and gynaecology. Obstetric is we deal with care of pregnant woman, unborn baby, labor and delivery. Meanwhile gynae is we deal with problems of female reproductive system such as uterus, fallopian tube, cervix, ovary and vagina. This post will be more to obstetric because I am taking obstetric right now, I will update more about gynae soon.

Basically O&G posting is tough and lots of new things to learn. Everything is new and we have to be a quick learner, like real quick (so far all postings are like this actually). We'll be left far behind if we lost our focus and lack of reading or practices. Expertise comes from hard work in chasing knowledge, someone said this to me.

Despite excitement, I am also clueless on how to adapt and organize my brain to understand all these stuffs. This year runs too fast, I couldn't believe all these 10 semesters will end real soon and I will be 4th year for this upcoming 3 months.

Btw I remembered something out of sudden. Dr H asked all of us a simple question during the class.

"What do you like to further in future?"

I hate to answer this question as I don't even know what I want to pursue. Still searching the most suitable specialist based on my passion and ability even I've been through some of the major postings. Sadly none of them stick to my heart except Internal Medicine (IM), but that doesn't mean IM is my choice. Lots of sacrifice required if I choose to be a specialist. I know my patients are my priority but deep down inside, my family is also part of my priority. I have so much respect to all the specialists or surgeons out there, they're such an inspiration to young people like me. Trying to follow their footsteps soon. Then I read this from a blog saying "You need to decide on a specialty earlier than you think." K I will try. 

Back to the main post, this posting is giving me a wholly different perspective in life. We have to take care of  two different lives (the mother and baby). Can you imagine how guilty that feeling is if we do simple mistakes along the management that can cause harmful to these two lives?  Roughly many ill people come to ward and we will treat them and improve their health but for this current posting, mostly healthy people come in and we try to give our best to make sure they can go back home in a healthy state again. (Trying to say that they put high hope on us to make sure they stay safe and healthy. This is the reason we have been scolded if we do mistakes, we deal with people lives. Like no room to make a simple mistake). Sometimes I also started to doubt myself (so many times to be honest), but just face it. It's all because of fear, try to push that feeling away.

There are lots of unforgetful and beautiful moments throughout this posting. For example, I had to present a case and I was sort of panicked when I realized my patient was not on her bed that morning (she went to labour room already and I wasn't expecting that early). Luckily I borrowed my friend's patient to be replaced and by doing so, I can't present well due to unexpected and unplanned case presentation. 1st week of posting was already a disaster for me (tears everywhere, but tears won't get you anywhere- quote from a novel I read). Whatever happens just rise back.

Dr B always says "Think like a dr not as a student. I don't want you to make mistakes in future". This hits me pretty hard and it is so true indeed. Your brain works faster and more efficient if you put yourself as a dr rather than a medical student. All because of responsibilities and humility. I have learned it is really important to believe your own instinct, trust yourself from the very beginning and make it a habit to think positive. This triad will significantly change our view whenever we are at the lowest point.

For the very first time I have witnessed a breathtaking moment which is a normal delivery process. The experience is different by just watching video compared to being there and witnessed with your own eyes. I was only observing due to my 1st experience, later on I will be happy if I could assist for my 2nd, 3rd, 4th experiences. Any simple kind of help is already make me happy and thankful.

Me: Mrs N, can my friends and I stay with you until you deliver your baby?

Mrs N: Yes sure.

After about an hour waiting, contraction  increased and she was about to deliver her baby. It was hard to describe but during this moment it is obviously proven that our mother struggling and stay strong for us to see this world whatever it takes. So have respect and love for our mother because without them we are nothing. By just looking at her face, you can never imagine the pain she was suffering. But then after hearing her baby's first cry and seeing her baby, all her exhaustion just gone. Be good and an obedient child my little love. You will be loved by everyone and welcome to the world, happy birthday!! Not to forget, every pregnant women need mentally, physically and financially support. Lack among these 3 things will give impact later on.

At the same time, I also worried with my job. So much things to learn, to practice and to live with. This learning process is like no ending, it just keep on going. Slowly but surely you will reach there dear self. I was impressed with all their knowledge and skills. How can I get those magical hands like them while they were doing per vaginal examination or any procedure? Hoping one fine day I could make it properly and confidently. Also how can I remain calm in a hectic situation? People surrounding me keep saying I'm a calm, cool person and whatsoever, but little did they know what runs in my mind and heart on  that particular time.

Before skill lab for mechanism of labour by Dato K.

Tq Dato, dr H and dr B for all your efforts in making me interested in O&G!!!

Will update more if there is any interesting story to share with.

Update: 23 June 2019, 3.30 am:

Currently sitting in the living room and thinking about today's story. Just reached home from the labour room and I can't sleep. Also in the zone of feeling dumb and curious at the same time. This posting is busy with home tasks and hectic labour room but still I got time to spend for blogging haha.

Dato K always encourages us to work hard, dream big, memorize  clearly and so on. The thing is I am not always perform like you want (will try much better everyday because you make me inspired). He is a very down to earth person, every Dato I met will make me inspired indirectly. He teaches us to stay positive, motivated and I like it. Sometimes getting tired too early is also a problem (maybe lack of sleep, lots of overlapped works and unhealthy diet are the factors). Not in the mood to study, stress and many more. The ability to work under pressure is quite difficult to handle (pressure can comes in many aspects: study, friends, attitude or even financial). But once we have been praised or getting constructive comments from our lecturer, feeling happy and motivated  back is a must. (Much better than destructive comments straight away).

At first gynae make my life miserable (not really into gynae I guess), but later on those miserable things will become organized by repetition of reading. Before entering the gynae ward, unhappy feeling will develop and I hate this feeling. Sometimes I had to force fake smile to the patients I met but still they are the best teachers. Tq may Allah bless you and ease everything!! Sorry it was my bad for not doing my best when dealing with you.

Inside the labour room, we have to stay with the mother from A-Z to learn everything (not by after seeing the baby come out, then gone searching for the other next baby delivering). I know we can't and never be able to learn everything but try to gain as much as possible is the best. Actually I learn a lot during high risk compared to low risk labour room because we have been scolded multiple times at high risk. Because of those multiple scolding, we learnt something and automatically  become a functional and alert students at high risk especially if lots of patients on that time. Knowledge and skills are very important as both come together. Also we have to do fast enough to save the baby and mother. But responsibilities as students are minor compared to the attending drs and nurses. Our main job is just learn as much as we can.

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Why I feel so much lacking? When  can I master all these things? A little bit scared+ worried+ unsure+ mixed feeling, hard to describe. I saw lots of things that I couldn't do on my own (so sad). I just being able to assist. (Should be thankful at least I can assist rather than just observing like the first time experience). Then someone told me, "Everything can be improved, everything will work out at the end".

My inner part said through practices and experience you will master by time. Be brave and bold. Lots of things in the plate, but I decide to end my writing here because I don't know which part to spread out next. Tq for helping me during these posting (all your teaching, advice and shouting will I remember for the entire life), couldn't survive without them and all the nurses including HO are so helpful and kind even I asked multiple silly questions.

Update: Tq examiners for being so nice with me hehe

End of posting exam:

• Long case: G6P5 at 26w with pre eclampsia
• Short case: small gestational age (SGA)

Next: Basic life support (BLS).