It’s been a while. The storm is everywhere, we can’t choose the weather, they teach me to dance in the rain. Of course, we have good days and bad days. They said “You’ll become stronger and gain many experiences” but I feel hard. I don't want any of this shit.
Then after multiple storm passed by, I guess it took away everything. Literally everything, left you in despair. Whatever passed is in the past, more to come right?
Knowing other people are facing the same thing. Perhaps harder. Those sick people in the ward didn’t enough to make you a grateful person.
Thanks to all those supportive people. Tones of voice notes, multiple calls and ranting. Not to mention the amount of money spent and the tears. Hahah such a therapy.
Back when the world was shit, kind of losing myself. Being purposeless to the max. Don't know how I survive, it just went by so fast. Whenever I told others, they’ll say:
“Things will get better over time. Only this phase is rough, later on will be easier.”
Hahah no..I don’t think so. I’ve seen my superior, it’s not getting easier. It’s getting harder but you can manage. Getting heavier but you can endure, because of the previous experiences. My future self will said “I’m used to it”.
Still grateful that I’m still breathing, still do the work and still in this lane despite the harsh truth. Just keep on reminding myself about my father’s story so that I keep on going. It was during his study time, the amount of hardship that he went through for us is huge and indescribable. Why he didn’t give up that time? He can but he decided to continue.
Moving on to the next story.
Then there was a night during hang out with my friends.
“I left my laptop at the library”
"Why don't we take it first?"
The moment I walked into the library, memories just stopped by. It was the first time after 6 years I stepped into a public library, so calm and beautiful. I wish I can visit there every week. It's just a wish, I didn't have a student ID to go into that place.
My writing is getting shorter, many things happened but I cannot write smoothly like the old good days, plus I didn't attach any pictures hahah.
Many good things happened too, but it was inappropriate to describe and share publicly. We should celebrate the little things, it's like a true happiness.
One funny moment, people keep asking me the same questions whenever I wore that one dress.
"Dr are you pregnant?"
"Dr come closer, are you pregnant?"
These people really make me wonder, but I don't mind, no time to care about that. Another reason to buy a new dress. Then that old dress will go to my youngest sister sooner. Every time she wears something unfamiliar or a new dress,
"Where did you get this dress? I never see it before."
"From my 2nd sister. I inherit all your clothes."
Hahah you can take it. More to come, because I've piles of unused things, from head to toe. But you're adulting early, I still can't brain she already used that face roller. What are you scared of? Still early, no need to rush. You'll know when to take care of these things as you grow up.
I managed to write a bit longer alhamdulillah hahah. What else to write? Nothing I guess, I'll end my writing here. Tq for reading, since you’re my guest here, I hope you enjoy reading and gain something.
Comments
Post a Comment