A son with an intubated father
Take turns to take care of his father, I think he’s a senior university student. You're concerned about your father's urine tube.
“Dr…you haven’t changed my father’s urine tube. Just now the dr said to change it.”
Then he saw me attending other patients first. He’s not like others who play mobile games while accompanying their sick parent. After he went outside to buy food, the first thing he looked for after coming back was the urine bag and feeling satisfied.
A few weeks later, witnessing his father’s death... gasping and gasping. A normal day for me but an unforgettable scene for the family. My registrar once said
“You’ll never understand how important it is, how hard it is unless it’s your family members lying on the bed”.
Mother’s love
Their love is crazy. Sleeping on that uncomfortable ‘kerusi malas’ everyday, always be there for her son. Also has to think how on earth to get that 100k for the cost of treatment. She always be there, never once I saw him alone without his mother.
Wife's looking after her husband
Also another love story. Stay by his side everyday. Why you bother to string the bedsheet every morning? Your husband will lie down and mess it up again. Also they’ve to stay away from kids for a long time, missing them a lot I know. Every morning will be a short conversation about their children. His husband looks exactly like my lecturer. Make it even harder for me to move on. Whenever attending,
My heart: Why must they look alike? Can’t look at his face too long. Just cannot. Not just one patient, there was another patient who also looks alike. These people really exist on earth. Nervous came whenever I attended them because my mind was saying “You’re attending your own lecturer”.
That sweat and tired face
There was one atypical night where everyone looked the same, don't know why. All of them had tired eyes, oily faces showing a messy day. Some of us left.
“She quit yesterday?”
“She went to UK? This is her last week?”
Whenever bumping on each other, its just the same greetings “Hi!”, sometimes “Oi, where you at today?”. Whenever we only raise the eyebrows and passed by without saying anything , both of us know today was hectic.
Thanks to medical students and other staffs. They’re really helpful, make it easier for me. I don't have the chance to teach right? Don’t know…so many things going on and every second matters.
“Is there anything we can help dr?”
"Dr you want me to help?"
Shit happens
Crazy enough to describe. The more you want to stay anonymous, the more well known you'll be. Since then, my days just turned out differently. Good people still exist, feeling grateful for that. Tq for all those kind words.
Guilty
There was one night, I was rushing to go back. Then was told to attend one chronic patient. That one difficult patient.
Upon attending,
Patient: Dr tak balik lagi? Kesian dr kene balik lambat sebab saya.
Me: Oh..nothing much, my job anyway.
Then it just one attempted, few minutes also. Feeling guilty for feeling lazy in the first place. Plus it just a simple task.
This ward teaches me things that I take for granted. A lot of lessons. Maybe because of chemo patients, their journeys are way harder. Plus their willingness to seek for treatment, to stay in ward, to accept their life and sacrifice their time. They’re selective and strong people, they teach me to be strong and grateful indirectly.
Last one, I was in a daycare clinic. Sharp at 8am then I start my work. The moment I ask,
“What time did you arrive?”
“5.30 am”
“Oh so early”
Another reason to be grateful and started to realize slowly, I was one of the selective people also.
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